Spin-o-scope
Issue date: 11/1/06 Section: Spin
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ARIES MARCH 21- APRIL 19:
It's a good week to take chances, just not necessarily for you. Roll the dice and you might get lucky.
TAURUS APRIL 20- MAY 20:
You have a strong will but we can't say so as much for your bladder. Going shot for shot with that fraternity guy this weekend won't fare well for your social life.
GEMINI MAY 21- JUNE 21:
Your argumentative nature might get you into hot water this week. If you see yourself as argumentative...living in denial might get you into hot water this week.
CANCER JUNE 22- JULY 22:
Your gullible nature will be tested this week. For the record, African diplomats do not need your bank account to launder money into the United States.
LEO JULY 23- AUGUST 22:
Lions are the kings of the jungle, act like it just week. Remember though, poachers run wild this time of the season.
VIRGO AUGUST 23- SEPTEMBER 22:
That light at the end of the tunnel isn't hope, It's an oncoming vehicle. You might want to get your steering column realigned.
LIBRA SEPTEMBER 23- OCTOBER 23:
It's a good week for you, you'll fly through with a breeze. Spend allthat time you would have used studying sifting through junk mail in your Yahoo account.
SCORPIO OCTOBER 24- NOVEMBER 21:
Your sense of paranoia will pays off this week. You're not having déjàvu, at worst you're a part of a new government experiment, at best you're in the matrix, Neo.
SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22- DECEMBER 21:
You'll gain recognition as the "crazy kid in class". Don't worry, just explain to them that you have Turret's syndrome and everyone will have a newfound respect for your ability to function as a human being.
CAPRICORN DECEMBER 22- JANUARY 19:
Good deed for mankind will give you a new sense of pride. Be wary though, that warm-hearted feeling is that spicy Italian food that you ate for lunch.
AQUARIUS JANUARY 20- FEBRUARY 18:
You're a natural born leader. Accordingly, you have no friends. It's lonely at the top isn't it.
PISCES FEBRUARY 19- MARCH 20:
If you want crappy predictions for your week this is not the place, any other horoscope will suffice.
It's a good week to take chances, just not necessarily for you. Roll the dice and you might get lucky.
TAURUS APRIL 20- MAY 20:
You have a strong will but we can't say so as much for your bladder. Going shot for shot with that fraternity guy this weekend won't fare well for your social life.
GEMINI MAY 21- JUNE 21:
Your argumentative nature might get you into hot water this week. If you see yourself as argumentative...living in denial might get you into hot water this week.
CANCER JUNE 22- JULY 22:
Your gullible nature will be tested this week. For the record, African diplomats do not need your bank account to launder money into the United States.
LEO JULY 23- AUGUST 22:
Lions are the kings of the jungle, act like it just week. Remember though, poachers run wild this time of the season.
VIRGO AUGUST 23- SEPTEMBER 22:
That light at the end of the tunnel isn't hope, It's an oncoming vehicle. You might want to get your steering column realigned.
LIBRA SEPTEMBER 23- OCTOBER 23:
It's a good week for you, you'll fly through with a breeze. Spend allthat time you would have used studying sifting through junk mail in your Yahoo account.
SCORPIO OCTOBER 24- NOVEMBER 21:
Your sense of paranoia will pays off this week. You're not having déjàvu, at worst you're a part of a new government experiment, at best you're in the matrix, Neo.
SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22- DECEMBER 21:
You'll gain recognition as the "crazy kid in class". Don't worry, just explain to them that you have Turret's syndrome and everyone will have a newfound respect for your ability to function as a human being.
CAPRICORN DECEMBER 22- JANUARY 19:
Good deed for mankind will give you a new sense of pride. Be wary though, that warm-hearted feeling is that spicy Italian food that you ate for lunch.
AQUARIUS JANUARY 20- FEBRUARY 18:
You're a natural born leader. Accordingly, you have no friends. It's lonely at the top isn't it.
PISCES FEBRUARY 19- MARCH 20:
If you want crappy predictions for your week this is not the place, any other horoscope will suffice.
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